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Should you toss someone out the window even if they’re keen on the idea? That isn’t meant to sound like some existential koan. In this week’s Mirror Down the Hall™, Laurie admits to quite the mischievous streak in her senior year of high school as a determined little prankster.
When a broadband connection meant tickets to see The Runaways
Does an upside-down Juan, dangling by his feet from Computer Science class, make a sound when he falls, if no tree is below to catch him? Is dangling a crime? Perhaps Dangling & Releasing should be, depending upon the height above ground, the surface below and whether the alleged victim is a willing, thrill-seeking participant.
Dangling & Releasing sounds like a minor fishing infraction until someone puts out an eye, breaks their neck or dents the hood of the guidance counselor’s El Camino.
There are laws against tossing little people, but what if they like it? Can you still toss someone if they’re not legally little or is that considered battery? I’m considering an aspirin because talking with Laurie tends to make my brain hurt, my cheeks sore and my sides ache from laughing.
Our little troublemaker sits in the middle on the bottom row
Due to a fear of speaking at her Class of ‘78 graduation ceremony, Laurie left no prank undone to ensure she failed her Computer Science course so she’d no longer be eligible for the honor. From programming code to insult the teacher, smoking at the back of the class and, finally, tossing a fellow student out the window, Laurie was unstoppable in her efforts to avoid giving that speech.
It’s funny to look back and realize just how absurd all of these things appear, but when we’re caught up in fear we cannot see clearly what we’re doing or the proper way to proceed. What makes us act out, act up and harm ourselves or others just to avoid embarrassment? How bad could standing up in front of a crowd possibly be?
Do you have a fear of public speaking or some other phobia? If you could go back to high school, what would you do differently, if anything? Do you ever reminisce about a do-over? How would you handle those high school problems, now? Would they even be problems?
Have you moved onward, upward and evolved far past the mindset that traumatized you, then? Or does your heart still race, your blood pressure escalate and your mind whir endlessly as you find yourself trapped in a feeling that has never been forgotten?
A little hassle for that tassel and a hint of mortarboredom
How far have you gone to get out of something you didn’t want to do? What is too far? I suppose it’s all relative and depends upon the amount of weight that’s crushing you beneath it as sweat pools in the palms of your hands and you can barely breathe from that tightness in your chest.
I guess I’d throw a few little people, big people and even myself out a window, if I didn’t see any other way to escape a burning building. Sometimes, there is no fire brigade and you’re left to your own devices where thinking fast on your feet, just to get out, may cause you to step on a few toes or trip over your own feet as you scramble to safety.
Next time you have a panic attack and feel the fear rising in your throat, check your operating system. If it says Windows 78 on it, then you might be in need of an upgrade. I suggest a more robust model with a faster processor, plus the latest anti-malware program.
This won’t necessarily ensure that your next public speaking engagement will go off without a hitch, but it certainly minimizes the chances of getting lung cancer as you try to calm your nerves. While the impish smirk is endearing, the smoker’s breath won’t get you kissed quite as quickly.
Oh, by the way, you may want to buy a new monitor so you can see clearly what it is you’re trying to achieve and if your path to success couldn’t be straightened and shortened just a bit. Why? Because not every Juan wants to be tossed out the window just to help a friend.
The Kat
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