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It's my flavorite!
You’ve heard the Lays potato chip slogan “Betcha Can’t Eat Just One,” right? Well, you would only eat just one, if after that first bite you reached into the bag a second time and a steel trap snapped off your fingers. It may not be the best diet plan, but it would curtail some of that constant snacking.
Hey, stop calling me mean, rude and selfish. Maybe I’m the only thing between you and a quadruple bypass. Pull those couch springs outta your ass and take a walk around the block. No, that doesn’t mean walk to the store for more ice cream.
Just because you walked a mile doesn’t mean you should reward your addiction to sugar by bingeing on a tub of Ben & Jerry’s Dublin Mudslide. Do that every night and something’s gotta give; if not your Lazy-Boy recliner, then your carotid artery, perhaps?
Sure, sure, I eat junk food like nobody’s business, which is very good business for somebody. Who doesn’t like their favorite snack or comfort food? I believe the key is always to stay active and burn that crap out of your system. Never consume more than you’re willing to work off.
Eat whatever the hell you want, when you want to the extent that you want, but don’t just sit around and allow that sugary sludge to coagulate in your arteries. Keep moving. If you’re not vibrating at the right frequency to break it all down and dissipate the heat, then you’re too sedentary and the time to make a healthy change may run out.
If I could get away with not exercising, yet eat anything I want – healthy or not – then I would do it. However, I’ve noticed there are consequences to choosing poorly in the nutrition department. Just because it’s on the supermarket shelves or menu doesn’t mean it belongs in your body.
Read the labels. Know what fuel you’re pouring into your carburetor – your heart. You wouldn’t pour sand into your vehicle’s gas tank, so why do you insist upon funneling pound after pound of white sugar into your system? Keep it up and you will blow a gasket.
Okay, I’m off my health soapbox because, frankly, I find it difficult to always follow my own advice. I think I need a cookie for just thinking about eating healthy. I should reward myself for pondering what I might feel like if I skipped the french fries and had the salad, instead.
When it comes to my chocolate chip cookies, Dublin Mudslide or double chocolate fudge cake a la mode, maybe my snarl has nothing to do with your health and everything to do with my addiction, my selfishness and my desire to savor every last bite of it.
Regardless of how that makes you feel or whether you’re pouting because I’m mean and won’t share, you ought to know by now that you shouldn’t come between a hungry Kat and his dessert du jour. It just isn’t healthy. You could lose a hand.
The Kat
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