Mirror Mirror

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Don't blame the moon if your surface is troubled

The best mirror reflects true without a smudge of judgment.

Have you had the pleasure of looking into a good mirror, today? Not one of those fun house mirrors at the carnival or some cracked and dusty surface that’s been hiding away in an attic for decades. A clean, smooth surface that is not pitted or missing its silver lining makes for the best reflection.

Any good relationship, whether platonic, intimate or business in nature, must be able to reflect clearly and show the persons engaged in communication their respective truths without the blinding glare of an interrogation spotlight.

Don’t waterboard your mirror. Wipe its face gently with an Earth-friendly cleaner using a soft cloth. Steel wool and hydrochloric acid will not remove the frown glaring back at you and may carve it into your mirror’s face permanently.

A good mirror allows you to see up close and personal all the blemishes, unkempt hair, and spinach stuck in your teeth before you amble out into that cold, dark world. A quality mirror is a good friend. Cherish such a mirror.

If you don’t like what you see being reflected back at you, then striking the mirror, verbally abusing it or turning away will not change what you have offered it by stepping before its shiny face.

Likewise, a good mirror does not have gauze stretched across it, filtering your image through its own pain and imperfections that have settled upon its soul like volcanic dust from some past eruption.

If you want to see yourself clearly, then choose your mirror wisely. To be a good mirror, you must become calm and clear like the silvered glass surface of a body of water with nary a ripple of emotion.

If you are troubled or the winds of some personal storm arise to form increasing waves of negativity, then it is best to warn away all shipping seeking safe passage. The mirror must be mindful, motionless and emotionless.

Both reflector and reflectee must be responsible in this relationship.

When icebergs loom in frigid waters, their silent bulk lurking beneath the seemingly tranquil surface, then the ship’s captain must discern whether the route is too dangerous before pressing onward. The captain must know how to properly chart a course.

When the moon is captured perfectly in a body of still water, then the mirrored reflection is amazing to witness. This is the beauty of a good mirror, but also the moon showing up in all its foolness with the pitted, pockmarked scars of past impacts cratering its body, mind and soul reminds us that we must be willing to look into ourselves, first, or a good mirror becomes a waste.

How do we become a good mirror for someone? By calming our mind and our heart. By becoming still, silent and willing to only reflect . . . not project. By listening, hearing and accepting what we see and not advising, condescending or shoulding all over the soul standing before us.

How do we become capable of standing before a quality mirror? By calming our mind and heart. By becoming still, silent and willing to show up. By listening, hearing and accepting what we see reflected back to us and not taking it personally. By recognizing that a quality mirror only reflects what it sees.

In a good relationship, if the other person is willing to show up and be seen, fully, then the best gift you can give them is a self-cleaning mirror that reflects true.

I don’t claim to be a great mirror. I have scars, spinach stuck to my teeth and a variety of smudges on my soul left over from sloppy eating habits, perhaps, plus plenty of dust in the corners. I’m cranky and rough around the edges with a few cracks and pains that cause me to grumble, snarl and scowl at pretty faces peering into me.

If you’re lucky, though, you might find a couple spots that are clean, smooth and still have all their silver so you can clearly see yourself within. I’ll try to remember and smile when you find them as long as you don’t approach me with a Windex bottle and a Brillo pad.

The Kat