Pick on somebody your own size
TIBLISI, Georgia (no, Billy Joe Bob, it’s not south of Savannah) – Twweeet! Extra, extra, read all about it! Communist Superpower Slays Tiny Twitter! The vodka is flowing freely, again, comrades.
After a glut of oil profits in recent years, Russia has emerged from the now settled dust of the Berlin Wall’s crumbling that heralded the disintegration of the former Union of Soviet Socialist Republics. They’re escalating an ever-increasing not-so-New Cold War strategy of picking on tiny neighbors. With two nuclear-powered Russian attack subs patrolling off the east coast of America, Russian bombers buzzing a U.S. aircraft carrier and Vladimir Putin flexing his pecs, can it be any more obvious that the great Russian bear is grumbling from its long winter hibernation?
Yesterday’s attack on Twitter has been allegedly traced to Russia and was intended for Georgian blogger “Cyxymu,” the Cyrillic spelling of Sukhumi and capital of Abkhazia, according to CNN. The Tiblisi man is allegedly an economics professor who has been writing about the Russian attacks on South Ossetia and the buildup of tension within the region. It’s been a year since the Russian invasion of Georgia and Cyxymu recently posted a timeline of preparation by the Russians for their military action, last summer, which is believed to be the thorn in the great Bear’s paw.
Twitter was merely collateral damage. Wow, you can’t make this shit up. It’s like a bad James Bond movie. I’m waiting for Xenia Onatopp to dismount from a hell-laden Hind D, rotors kicking up dust and her hair in that perfect Hollywoodski slo-mo as the jet turbines whine down. She’s wearing a skin-tight red vinyl flight suit and a glittering silver neck pendant that’s actually a thumb drive with the hacker code that brought down our favorite blue bird of freedom.
She licks her lips, thumbs her drive and saunters across a hot tarmac sending heat waves of sexual frustration rising from every flyboy, grease monkey and backseat wannabe watching her wiggle toward the hangar. The magic trick is perfectly executed and we do not notice the laptop she carries in a titanium case as she struts her Caucasian stuff toward a familiar bald pate. A close-up reveals immaculate nails and slender fingers tenderly stroking a lap kitty. Shades of Johnny Carson and Raquel Welch. Where’s James Bond when you need him? Or Austin Powers?
Speaking of a lap kitty, Putin looks and acts like he should be putting his pinky finger in the corner of his mouth, smirking at the camera and saying, “You have 24 hours to give us a billion rubles.” Wait, strike that last comment. I don’t need Russia or Mike Myers attacking The Tao of Kat. Hmm, that puts a rather nefarious and perverted slant on the term “lap kitty.” No, thanks, I’ll pass, Xenia. Lose your evil sidekick and the helicopter, then give me a call.
On the other hand, to be able to piss off a superpower and garner all that attention. Mwuhahahahaha! Sometimes I wonder if Wag the Dog was a documentary. Do screenwriters read the news and write their absurd stories from what supposedly happened, or are heads of state watching all this silver screen crap and trying to emulate their favorite super heroes, super spies and super-sized mega doses of surreality?
No wonder the world’s messed up. Where are the stories of the carnage, rape and starvation in Africa? What happened to the day to day flow of bloodshed from the Middle East? It’s sad that the loss of a social networking site garners such attention. If people would be this flabbergasted, despondent and outraged about the true atrocities in the world, then we might see it spin more peacefully.
I realize that most of us feel like, “What can I do?” It’s too big to get a grip on it. Someone else is handling it. It will never change. Better people than me have tried. I’m too busy. I have my own problems. I’m out of work, out of money and going out of my mind. Who cares. It’s over there, so why bother. What, me worry? Blah blah blah . . .
I like to slam things that I think are stupid. I realize that this is my expression of frustration about my own feelings regarding my seeming lack of power, lack of control or lackadaisical attitude toward “other” people’s problems. After seeing, sensing and living through the business as usual mindset of America over the past few decades, it’s enough to demoralize, brainwash and effectively squelch anyone.
However, someone has to always be willing to step up, step forward and step out onto the stage, alone, if necessary, to remind the timid that it only takes a few good people to change the world. I applaud the Cyxymus of the world. I cheer for them and the Iranian Twitterers. I may poke fun at the system, at times, or go on a scathing tirade about the injustices, criminality and evil I perceive, but I will always support the underdog fighting a worthy cause.
Do you realize how close you are to winning against the establishment? The Powers That Be, anywhere, cannot control an enlightened mass consciousness that is awakening on this planet. Business as usual is crumbling like the Berlin Wall. I make no predictions as to a time frame, but I hope I live to see it. Likewise, the human species may love its drama too much to ever fully release itself from the grip of contrast that Good vs. Evil provides.
I believe the internet is one of the final pieces of evidence that humanity is truly ascending. It is the physical representation of the synapses born in the human brain as we think ourselves smarter, developing new channels of thought, creativity and expression in ever-flowing multimedia forms of instant, on demand connectivity. The World Wide Web is the representation of the cosmic mind on Earth.
Will you protect your brain? Will you stand up for all injustice that attacks the sanctity of your thoughts, your ideas and any creative means you possess to transform yourself, your community and the world? Of course you will. Whether one, two or ten million of us must die in the process, keep Tweeting! Keep speaking up, speaking out and speaking into those minds and hearts listening, waiting and wanting to know that you’re still breathing beneath the rubble – that our tears, prayers and hopes have not been shared in vain.
It is your world. Your internet. Your Free Speech should never be suppressed by anyone, any time or anywhere. Whether it’s a Tiananmen Square filled with tanks, a cyber attack from a pissy neighbor or your own home-grown good ol’ boy network of power players and fat cats that want to own, direct and decide the conversation for others, you have a duty and a right to rise above the din of dictatorship and shout your own decree.
I will be free!
The Kat
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