Did anyone play any practical jokes on you, yesterday? Like, taking you to Gitmo to be incarcerated for five years without the ability for appeal or representation? Fuck, that’s a hoot! I wish I had thought of that one.
Jokes are always funnier when they happen to other people, don’t you think? For instance, when a cowboy rides in to save the settlers from the banditos and ends up starting a revolution – innocent people dying everywhere and the cavalry has their thumbs up their asses – that slapstick just makes me guffaw and I crave old Three Stooges films.
Google played its usual April Fools Day joke, making TiSP available for internet users. Cute, but it has light years to go to catch up with those wacky Iraqis and their exploding truck bombs. Lordy, I ’bout split a gut when I heard that one.
Even Mother Nature got in on the funny stuff with that little tsunami in the Solomons. The whole world’s got something to laugh about, it seems.
I realize that laughter can be the best medicine, but when it’s creepy or sick like the Radio and Television Correspondents’ Association dinner where the Press gets chummy and “funny” with the politicians, then I think a line has been horribly crossed. Putting on the feed bag at such a lavish affair – when children are dying in Darfur and Tal Afar – is not appropriate, especially when too many pockets are being lined with war profits.
Our president and his rapping Turd Blossom should not be making time for laughter when so many are dying and suffering on their watch. It is sickening, childish and unbelievably irresponsible. As leaders of our country, they are most certainly jokes, but I can’t bring myself to chuckle. Some things just leave me sullen, though I’ve been the class clown for years. A clown who doesn’t feel like laughing is a very sad thing.
Here are a few things that I don’t find funny:
- Dubya being voted into office – twice!
- Scalia’s Supreme Court Florida ruling for Bush that smelled as fishy as an unwashed twat.
- Bush blinking for seven minutes while reading “The Pet Goat” as New York gets sucker punched on 9-11.
- Rumsfeld scoffing at generals who claim it will take several hundred thousand more soldiers in Iraq than the Defense Secretary is willing to commit.
- Big Dick Cheney’s Haliburton winning a no-bid contract for reconstruction in Iraq.
- Draft-dodging Bush parading around in a flight suit on the deck of the U.S.S. Abraham Lincoln beneath the banner “Mission Accomplished.”
- Abu Ghraib
- Alberto Gonzales
The list is too numerous to continue and entirely laughable, but atrociously unfunny. There is not enough internet ink to write all that is wrong about the Bush Administration and the obesely bilious Turd Blossoms who bloviate before the press about their vast accomplishments. These neocon artists are painting a very bleak future for America. Those who voted them in and continue supporting them should be ashamed, but shame and dignity have long since gone down the drain in America.
Occasionally, I will listen to Larry King. Why, I don’t know, because he annoys me. Maybe I am amazed at what a CNN troll he is, asking softball questions and pandering to whomever gloats over his suspenders. Inviting a panel on to discuss the aforementioned Press dinner with the President, last week, he chastised Ariana Huffington for calling Rove creepy, saying “Lighten up, Arianna.” This is why King is a fool.
I’ll lighten up when:
- We’re out of Iraq.
- Bush is impeached.
- Cheney’s pacemaker has a Y2K event.
- Rove has an unfortunate Pork Rind processing machine incident.
- Rumsfeld’s Old Farts Home transfers him to Gitmo.
- The billions America spends on bombs are spent on Global Warming, instead.
- All Right-wing Christian Conservative’s propaganda is properly filed in the folder next to the Tooth Fairy.
Until the April Fools jokes are removed from power, I don’t feel much like laughing. I’m tired of grinning and bearing it, however, so I won’t be disappointed if my invitation to the next White House Press BBQ gets lost in the mail. The only roast I’m interested in requires Kingsford Charcoal. Of course, for Rove, I’ll have to dig a big grease pit.
Does anyone know how to prepare Fucktard Flambé?
The Kat
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