streaming consciousness . . . and a few hairballs

Question: How many clowns does it take to do a morning radio show?

Answer: Two, if they have really big shoes and find each other funny enough to get up that early.

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Psst, did you forget your pants? Just keep smiling.

To listen to other podcasts of Jennifer & The Kat, visit the Big Shooz Closet.

Question: What do you get when you cross two clowns, a morning radio show and the internet?

Answer: A podcast . . . and a helluva lot more sleep.

Actually, it’s better not to cross two Clowns as they tend to get cranky, especially if they don’t get enough sleep. Cranky clowns are scary and will do crazy things like make balloon animals out of your dog by inserting helium and attaching a tether. Or pulling an endless stream of rainbow-colored hankies out of your nose . . . after stuffing them in there.

Other sure signs of a cranky clown are hand buzzers attached to 12-volt car batteries, seeing how many Volkswagens they can get into a person, squirting flowers that squirt lemon juice and rampant E.U.M (Excessive Use of Mime) acts of terrorism to include running against the wind, trapped in a box and tripping on imaginary objects.

Please, avoid the cranky clowns and those with tiny shoes. You can’t trust a clown with tiny shoes. You want your clowns to wear Big Shooz™ and, preferably, some pants. Oh, wait . . . sorry. Heh-heh, good thing this isn’t YouTube.

I met Clown, uh, Jennifer (Quinlan) near the end of the Paleozoic Era, at KKUR, a charming little radio station on the beach in San Buenaventura, CA (Ventura). The program director and our friend, Joni Caryl, had hired me to fill in for the morning man, David Jeremiah, who was going on vacation. Jenny was the news anchor and I remember hearing her before meeting her. My, what a lovely voice, I thought.

I didn’t realize, then, that her lovely voice would be laughing at me a little further up the coast in Santa Barbara only a few months, later, after we were all let go as KKUR went to a satellite feed in that continuing phase of corporatocracy that has devoured and destroyed the radio industry I both love and loathe.

From live broadcasts at Disneyland, scores of celebrity interviews with authors, actors, politicians, musicians and all the regular folk around town to the weekly Magic Lunch, which included a limo ride to a great restaurant every week, Jennifer & The Kat enjoyed so many things about living and playing in paradise. We’re quite grateful to have had the time to wake up Santa Barbara, make many friends and entertain them along the way. Thank you and thanks for listening.

The stories are many and we’ll share some of them as we bring our Big Shooz™ back to the microphone for another round of morning mayhem, except it will be on demand. Yep, the best part about wearing Big Shooz™ is you get to put your foot down, occasionally. If the worst part about doing a morning show was the early morning wake-up call, then why not just eliminate it? Thank you internet. Thank you podcasting. Bless you, everyone.

Join Jennifer & The Kat in the morning, afternoon, evening or even in the middle of the night. Listen to our Big Shooz™ whenever you like. Clowns always love a good audience. And if you’re coulrophobic, then don’t worry. It’s ToK WWWadio™ and you’ll never see us in greasepaint.

Remember, the best way to start your day is: Big Shooz™, a smile and don’t forget your pants.

The Kat